I’ve been writing since I was a kid really, but the first time I really got into it was when I got back from a six month trip to the UK in 2007 (it was supposed to be a 2 year working holiday but my sister and I didn’t really enjoy the work and wanted to come home).
Anyways, I got home and realised that I didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself, so I sat down and started writing. I wrote for six months and eventually what I was left with was a full 365 page novel. It wasn’t really edited (and I couldn’t do it for fear of deleting everything), but I had poured my heart and soul into it. I even used fights that I’d had in real life to spark some excitement in the book (I think a lot of writers do this).
I sent the book out to so many publishers and didn’t get any positive feedback at all. As it turns out, most publishers don’t even tell you if they don’t like it; you just have to wait for 3 – 6 months and if you get no feedback whatsoever then you have to move on to someone else.
I was still very young and enthusiastic at the time, so the rejections would just bounce off of me and I’d carry on. This went on for a good year before I started to think maybe there was something wrong with it. I got busy with work and life and eventually put it on the back burner.
It stayed that way for years, even though I did write another book in the meantime, I still always loved my first book and wished I could find a publisher that would also love it. When I turned 30 last year, it all changed. I knew that I couldn’t wait for someone to love my book as much as I did, I had to do something; so I finally decided to self publish.
I found a company that I really liked and had to scrape together the money to do it, but finally I was going to be a published author. I didn’t realise how much work I was going to have to put in to get it done and how long it would take.
Six months down the line (and 10 years from when I originally started writing the book), my book was finally ready to be put online and out into the Universe (after an extreme amount of editing by the people I went through to self publish and me – must have read my book at least 10 times) .
I’m not entirely sure if I’m still in shock, or it’s just taken so long to get here and that’s what the problem is, but I’m not as excited as I should be. You would think I’d be shouting it from the rooftops, or drinking champagne and going out to celebrate, but instead all I did was let my friends and family know and leave it at that.
I suppose the problem is, the more I read my book, the more it didn’t seem as good as I had originally thought and I started to regret making the decision to self publish. I’d already paid all the money though and put so much time and effort in, so I had to go through with it.
Now I’m sitting worrying if anyone will even like it or want to read it. I think I’m more worried that people will hate it and write horrible reviews about it (I’m pretty soft hearted, so not sure I could take the criticism).
My sister told me to just tell everyone and who gives a dam* (*she used a much more interesting word of course) if someone doesn’t like it. I’m not sure I’m quite that strong, but the thought that gets me through is: at least I can tell my children that I was published once and if you Google my book, it is on the first page that Google pulls up. At least that is cool.
Maybe one day soon, I’ll even get a few printed and go around to book stores to sell them there (just to see my book on the shelf would be so cool), but for now it is enough that I have e-books online and that people can get a hard copy off Amazon.
Even if nothing comes from it (I’m not expecting millions of dollars in sales or anything), at least when someone new asks me what I do, I can finally say that I’m an Author.
You are an author! And that is spectacular! 🙂
You are an author! And that is spectacular!